Welcome to the Inaugural “Pokemon True Story”- Brought to you by the Pretentious people of Always in Kanto!
This Week we will talk about my friend Ric.
He is a troll pokemon trainer- but a serious one at that. That is to say that Ric’s primary goal (obviously) is to win. His secondary goal however, is to FUCKING PISS YOU OFF whilst doing so. And being that I’m his friend and fellow pokemon trainer, I can say with a high level of authority that he does a fine job of accomplishing either feat.
Ric has a gaping weakness which is an intangible, however. Ric is an amazingly talented Pokemon trainer, however, he lacks what some may argue is the the most crucial element in an exciting pokebattle. Ric lacks luck.
In my experience playing Ric, he relies on a stable of reliable Sweepers,and Defenders. He builds teams to strike at an opponent’s weaknesses and- in this respect, he is a fearsome foe. That being said when fighting me, I’ve been able to successfully foil his plots out of what seems to be sheer chance. Sheer chance, and an amazing Pokemon by the name of Archeops.
My Archeops is built for strength and speed, and as long as it stays above 50% health, it is death incarnate. Ric is been able to trump me pretty much every time up until I bring out “Muldoon”- my Archetypal Archeops. My Archeops uses fly, uturn, earthquake, and stone edge.
Stone Edge is the move I use most against Ric. Stone Edge is a scary move- it hits hard, it gets a STAB bonus, and has a second stage critical hit ratio (that’s a good thing),But Stone Edge isn’t perfect. It hits…. 80% of the time- and although 20 % doesn’t sound like that much of a margin, in a pokemon battle, there’s a very real heart wreching possibility that you are walking away a loser because your move did not hit. But Ric has a gaping weakness. Ric lacks luck.
Every battle I’ve played Ric, he brings his A game, because he knows I’m a force to be reckoned with. And he knows Muldoon is a clever girl. Ric throws down. He throws down hard, but if his pokemon aren’t strong to rock moves- he loses. This is the fact.
Every time I’ve used Stone Edge on Ric, it’s hit. Almost every time I’ve used it, it’s been a critical. Every time- he’s yelled out fuck. Ric has a gaping weakness- Ric lacks luck.
Okay so I’m totally going to post something substantial, then I get the bright idea to draw with crayons instead. Here’s to you Muse!
My hyper-masculine change purse. Fuch you -Oshawott is the SHIT
Bored at work
Republican Presidential Candidate quotes Pokemon 2000 in Presidential debate.
News at 11
